Between Love and Obsession
by Hatari05
Summary: I dream of her every day, I long for her, I need her and I wonder how far this will go. Most would say I am obsessed that my love has turned into obsession. Love and obsession i often find myself between both roads teetering on the edge, what is the difference between them when does the line become clear. One Shot.


:Between love and obsession:

" _The following story is a one shot based off a Sonic universe I've been putting together over the years. The tale is told through the perspective of Tails who in this universe is deeply in love with Amy Rose. Here he weighs on the endless emotions his love for her causes and if his feelings have gone too far._ _I wasn't certain on the rating I originally gave it an M rating I felt Tails thought were too mature for T but reading through a lot of other M fics I realized this was tame and didn't warrant the M rating I originally gave it so I changed it to T. This gets pretty deep but I wanted to really capture the idea of what Tails feels both physically and emotionally._ _So let us journey into Tails mind, heart and soul._

I stare up at the ceiling seeing nothing really yet again I cannot sleep just as the night before and many before that. I know I should, I should rest my head and close my eyes but such a thing is impossible for I know the moment I close my eyes all I will see is her, the most beautiful thing on this world, the desire of my heart and soul, my deepest dream, my love, Amy Rose.

It is too late for my mind to change course she is in my heart once more I can see her perfectly every detail her light pink fur the red skirt dress she wears clinging to her body as if it were a part of her. Her perfect body her skinny but not weak legs the curves of her gorgeous form and yes her breast but the sight I can never forget is her face the features that complete the already incredible image. Her eyes are emerald green and shine with the beauty of nature itself I gaze into them for a moment and find myself lost in them allowing myself to become just another part of her mesmerizing rain forest. I see the peach color of her cheeks which glow every time she smiles, good god that smile. I wish I could describe it but I cannot I've spent many a night trying to find the perfect way to describe it the light of an angel, the sparkle of the stars, maybe both there is no word to describe it, it's just her smile.

I don't like focusing on this part but to deny it would be a lie. I see the smile on her lips which are luscious and so inviting the idea of her irresistible kiss calling to me. I feel my legs turning to jelly even though I am not standing I try to regain control of myself but she continues to assault me. Her scent which is like roses makes it's way to my nostrils I feel a bliss wash over me and journey deeper, deeper into my heart, deeper into the idea of Amy.

I think about all I've been through with her I remember the first time I saw her, the moment my heart was stolen away. I couldn't speak properly, I couldn't think coherent thoughts all I could do was gaze at her I was her toy to play with. I never would've imagined what would happen. She was taken by our nemesis Doctor Robotnik or as others call him Eggman. Sonic and I rushed to rescue her Sonic distracting the robots while I got her to safety. I remember the journey to her home my thoughts racing my gaze always finding it's way to her which she seemed to take a satisfaction in she knew she was gorgeous and she knew I was smitten by her, she seemed to notice this and decided to take it further her scent was distracting as it was but she sprayed herself with her perfume all I could smell was roses I had to put the plane on autopilot to ensure it didn't crash I also noticed something else about her, her lips had bright pink sparkle to them to say it looked good on her would be an understatement. I find myself struggling not to look at her lips I feel a hunger in me and push it aside but I can't ignore the thoughts racing through my mind her lips look so delicious. I snap myself out of it what a creepy thought I try to ignore her as we arrive at her house.

We step out and I tell her we'll be monitoring for Eggman I give her a communication device to contact us if she needs help she thanks me for saving her and calls me a hero her voice hypnotic I could listen to it all day then she says she wants to thank me asking me to close my eyes. I do so not knowing what to expect and her hands grab my cheeks with surprising aggression she then presses her sparkling pink lips to mine.

My eyes go wide with shock my heart races faster than I ever thought possible I feel my brain melting I then allow myself to relax feeling her soft lips caressing across mine gently leaving a bit of her pink lipstick behind in the process. I don't mind instead I find myself taking in the taste and savoring it. She begins to deepen the kiss making it more aggressive than before. I regain some sense of my senses and kiss her back myself but it does little she's the one in control here. I am lost in the sensation my lips taste of strawberry there is also a creamy and almost sticky feeling to them and it's not the faint feeling and taste it was before it's very prominent, it's almost all I can taste, I like it. By this point my whole body has shut down my legs have buckled under their weight and the only thing keeping me standing is her hands around my cheeks and her lips against mine. She releases me from the kiss and playfully taps me allowing me to topple over. I don't remember much after that except I couldn't speak coherent words or sentences. I do remember her waving goodbye it all went down hill from there.

You see at the time I didn't trust anyone not even Sonic or Sally the idea of someone actually caring about me was alien. Why had she kissed me I questioned it before questioning her she admitted the kiss was out of gratitude and was shocked to hear it was my first she apologized for confusing me and regretted her choice I told her I didn't. After that I helped her get close to Sonic and the others I didn't realize at the time the only one she wanted to be close to was me. I couldn't be certain if I trusted her, people had used my emotions against me before whose to say it wasn't happening again, eventually however I realized not only that I trusted her but I needed her but by then it was too late. Whatever feelings she had for me were gone instead she had fallen for Sonic and I was her best friend. The thought killed me inside I had a chance and blew it all because I couldn't see how genuine her feelings were now all I can do is think of her and wonder how far it will go.

I open my eyes and realize I dozed off again I always remember that moment the only time I was the object of her affection. I run my hand across my mouth and if I close my eyes for but a moment I can feel it tingling, I can taste the strawberries again then it's gone. I sigh and realize this isn't going away tonight. I pull out a picture and gaze at her perfection. How long I stare at it I know not. I find myself wondering how wonderful it would be, I feel my heart pounding rapidly cursing me for not seeing it when I had the chance, I agree with it. I hold the picture close to my chest right above my heart I kiss it gently and tell her I love her I feel tears filling my eyes I let them out they stream down my cheeks as I ask myself why, why I had to be a fool, why I couldn't change what happened, why I couldn't be given another chance. I rest on my bed and allow my tears to flow. How I long for her, How I long for her love, to feel her arms around me, to taste her kiss once more, to see the love in her eyes. I pray to the stars asking no begging to be given another chance. I continue to let my tears flow eventually I cry myself to sleep.

I open my eyes and I see her gazing at me laying beside me she playfully tells me I dozed off again I look at her in confusion she smiles before kissing me gently. I wrap my arms around her and hold her close she places her own arms around my neck holding the back of my head keeping me in place as if to say you're not going anywhere until I'm done with you, she could do whatever she wants with me. She kisses me with all the passion her heart can muster I return it in full feeling my blood race she pushes me down and rests her body on top of me I feel her skin against my fur her intoxicating scent surrounding me. She brushes against me her scent brushing off on my fur. She gazes into my eyes, I love you, she tells me, I love you with all my heart, she finishes, I can't say anything I can feel the tears of joy for too long I have longed to hear that, you are hurting, she says gently, let me take it all away, she asks her voice like paradise.

She rests herself against me before she begins to undo the straps on her skirt she lifts it over her head before reaching behind and untying her bra she allows it to fall to the floor and sits up allowing me a full image of her naked body. I am stunned by the sight of it, before I am appalled by my desire she reaches down to me. Don't reject it, she says, you need me let me be there for you, she pleads. I feel a hunger consume me a desire, a desire for her to be mine to have every of inch of her, I feel I am about to succumb to it when my eyes shoot open again.

I feel anger why did I wake up, just a few more moments and her love her passion would've been mine. I could almost feel her naked form on top of me her lips sucking my neck, I could hear her moans as well as my own I could taste the fluids from her privates I could feel myself ready to burst. Most would say I am obsessed that my love for Amy has turned into obsession, they don't understand.

Love and obsession I often find myself between both roads teetering on the edge. I know I love her, I want her to be happy but I know the truth I want her to be happy with me. I think of her all the time I dream of her all the time she is all my mind and heart can see. I have seen the life I would have with her in my dreams, I know the names of my children, Talic and Rose. I know the vows I would make at the altar. I know how I would propose to her. I know all I would do if she were mine. Is that obsession or is that love I struggled with the answer for so long but the truth is becoming more clear the longer my heart calls out for her.

What is the difference between love and obsession, she is all you think of all you dream of all you hope for, she is in your very soul, you cannot forget her no matter what you do you always see her, always long for her but you'll never have her she slowly consumes you scarring your heart, your mind, the pain never to fade. Is that obsession or is that just a love unrequited when does the line become clear. Is it creepy that I think all this is that how she would see it, would she say I am obsessed, I immediately know the answer is yes. So be it then I am obsessed with Amy Rose there is nothing I can do to change it my dreams will never go away my longing will never go away and I will never stop thinking of her never stop seeing her.

How could anyone understand how I feel, what it feels like to want something with every fiber in your being but you know you can never have it and despite your desire to move on your heart will not let you, your soul will not stop dreaming about her showing what could've no what should've been and now you have to live with it endure the pain knowing someone else will be given the love that should've been yours. How could anyone understand that pain, the agony, it's worse than dying how you wish you could but you can't because you know she would blame herself so here you are enduring an agony worse than death for a woman who doesn't even see the hell you are going, the hell I am going through!

Love is obsession you feel happy at first a beautiful tingling feeling, you feel like you can fly oh how she makes you feel, I remember that feeling too being around her is perfection then an instant you become lost in her eyes you edge closer to kiss her with every ounce of passion you have only for her to say no and then she says the words that condemn you to a hell without end, I want us to be friends. Where do you go from their I'll tell you where I went. I bottled it all up because I couldn't show it around her I couldn't express it but what do I do with all that passion, I do nothing I keep it in all of sudden I don't feel happy around her anymore all I feel is the pain of keeping all this in what was beautiful is now a poison coursing through my veins I'd rather have real poison coursing through my veins. My body longs for her, my heart bleeds for her, my soul begs for her. All they can do now is create fantasy after fantasy of what it would be like to be loved by her but this doesn't help. I feel her love around me then I wake up in my shit bed to my shit life I don't want to be awake anymore all I want is to sleep where I know she will be waiting for me where everything that should've been mine finally is!

Of course they all say the same thing she made her choice don't you want her to be happy, of course I want her to be happy and who else could love her like I do who else could endure what I am willing to endure for her, Sonic yeah right he is a blind fool rejecting her again and again do you not realize the beautiful gift you have, if only she would just forget about you if only you would just leave then maybe I would actually have a chance. I think of the rage I feel for Sonic how dare he break her heart so many times the things I would do to him if my stupid conscious didn't hold me back never mind how Amy would react. She would not approve but then again she's blinded how can she not see the truth he doesn't love her why is she trying? Every time he hurts her she comes to me and I comfort her she asks why she has to deal with this I tell her everything will be alright but the truth is you don't have to deal with this you want someone to love I'm right here! I'll love you more than anyone could, I'll give you more love than you ever thought imaginable maybe then you would finally notice the person you really needed was right in front of you, open your eyes, damn it Amy, I love you!

She doesn't see it she never will and whoever gets her in the end will no doubt disregard the treasure they've been given. None of them can truly take care of her the way I have after all whose been there to wipe away her tears every time she cries who holds her whenever she feels lonely who is always there for her no matter what, the answer me! I've done more for her than anyone could ever conceive. I've suffered so much just to ensure she's happy, no one else would do that for her, why doesn't she love me!? After all I've done can you really say I don't deserve her love, I've earned it, it should've been mine!

I pondered the thoughts going through my mind the same ones that always do what could I do how could I finally make her love me I then hear a smaller voice "should I" of course I should until she loves me this pain will never go away I have to win her somehow I hear the smaller voice again "what is she some kind of price" I consider it before brushing it off I had win her, I needed her, I needed her. Exhausted I close my eyes and see two worlds, one where I see Amy walking with Sonic hand and hand he finally accepted her feelings and seemed to be returning them she seems so happy the smile on her face sends butterflies through my stomach I then see them embrace and kiss. The pain in my heart returns greater than ever that could've been me and now I'm going have to see this every day knowing somewhere it could've been me, I'd rather be thrown into hell!

I turn away and see the other option I see myself on the verge of snapping I watch Sonic and Amy together I then watch him hurt her yet again enough I would watch this no longer! I tackle him to the ground and beat him with a savage ferocity I can hear myself snarling and screaming with savage and feral rage. I wrap my hands around his neck and choke the life out of him not once do I ask myself what am I doing my conscious is long gone, I would soon see just how far gone it was. I turn to her and grab her forcibly I scream and rant about how much I loved her how much I deserved her after all I did for her it was the exact thing that I myself was thinking frequently except now it seemed hollow with the way I was acting it sure didn't look like I deserved her. I watch as I toss her down telling her she will understand why I did what I did.

I find myself screaming at the image "what are you doing you love her how could you even consider this" I scream it does no good I won't listen wait I won't listen this isn't some animal this is me thinking the very things I believed he wasn't doing anything I was for thinking those thoughts for even a moment "what am I doing" I say shocked, how could I think of her in such a way, I ask myself in disbelief. I hear the voice shouting at me telling me I deserve her but the smaller voice is becoming louder "how could I say I love her and see her in such an appalling manner" I questioned. I ignore the voice and listen to the smaller one which is growing louder "I did what I did because I wanted to help her I wanted to see her happy" I heard my own conscious tell me "I didn't do it for a reward, I did it because I love her" I said in realization "her love is not a price, it's the most beautiful gift" I tell myself.

The other voice fades to a distant memory and I see Amy staring at me, "I love you, god I love so much" I say tears in my eyes, "I wish I could say the same you deserve it" she told me "no you owe me nothing my love is unconditional" I tell her "I hope one day mine will be as well" she says. I hold her close and she gazes at me and gently presses her lips to mine it's paradise far better than any sexual act could ever be I ignore the feeling, I ignore the taste all I think about is how happy she makes me feel how happy deep down she will always make me feel.

I open my eyes I'm in my bed yet again staring at the picture in my hand. I smile at it and kiss it ignoring how much I desire her and remember the only thing that matters how much I love her and how happy she makes me feel.

Love is obsession and obsession is love they almost always lead to each other and both are inescapable in the beginning you will be happy then your longing and desire will slowly grow the passion you feel turns to pain and agony your love turns to greed and jealously what was selfless is now selfish. This is not the first time I have gone through all this no I go through it nearly every night in a single instant to constantly remind me what my love for her truly is.

I think of her all the time, I dream of her every night, I long for her, I love her deeply yet I am also obsessed because they are each other. My dreams are my love for her and my desire, they will always be there and once again I'm reminded there's nothing wrong with that. I can love her, I can desire her, I can long for her, need her and I always will but I do not deserve her no the moment I think that I am unworthy of her. I gaze down at the picture and see her smile it warms my heart I hold it close and I kiss it one final time, "goodnight Amy sleep peacefully, I will dream of you my love", I tell her softly I place the picture next to me and allow myself to finally fall asleep. I drift into my dreams knowing she will be there I ignore the pain I know will come in the morning and take her into my arms, Amy, my heart, my soul, my desire, my paradise, my love and my obsession but above all else my happiness, my everything. I feel her love flowing through me and allow the tears to flow you will always be in my heart you will always have my love, only you Amy Rose.

The End

 _Well what did you think I don't normally do stuff like this but the idea of this just popped into my head and I knew I wanted to write it. I don't normally do one shots but this one really hit home for me I've been where Tails is before and I won't lie the line between the two for a time became uncertain for me it's so difficult to deal with it all. So what's your view of it did you think it was good, sorry for asking but I love writing and I'm just not sure if I'm actually any good at it._


End file.
